dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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