Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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