Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
