He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
