I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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