brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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