The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
