GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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