Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
