oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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