Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
