He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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