Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
