what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
