connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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