Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Randomize
