My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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