check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
