Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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