I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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