how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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