Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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