True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
