She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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