.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
