Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
