I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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