just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
