if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
