I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
