More tranny stories later!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
