O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
