Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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