We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I will die if light touches me.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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