I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
