I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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