I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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