Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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