Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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