dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
