love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
