Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
