I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
