just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
