p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
