I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
