Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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