He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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