It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
