She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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